Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Ned Colletti Speak

For all of you out there who aren't sure of what Ned Colletti means when he speaks, I will now translate for you. This from a recent article on Dodgers.com.

COLLETTI SPEAK: Colletti said he is not of the mind to break up the core of the youth movement and that three-for-one or four-for-one was too much to deal for any single player.

"You fill a one-year need with a tremendous player and look around and have three more needs to fill," he said. "I'm not sure how you gain on the process."

TRANSLATION -- I do not want to be the guy who traded away Clayton Kershaw like my predecessors traded away Pedro Martinez...fair enough.

COLLETTI SPEAK: "We believe in our scouts and when you listen to them talk about someone like Clayton Kershaw, for example, a few years down the road he might be the same guy [as Willis]. If there's four players you might deal and two of them have a chance to be one of those guys [like Willis], why would you do that?"

TRANSLATION: I have no balls.

COLLETTI SPEAK: "You see what it costs to acquire a player and how much the core of your team is uprooted to do it," he said. "We're on the right course. Other guys are on the verge of joining [James] Loney, Kemp, Broxton, [Chad] Billingsley. Maybe it's LaRoche, maybe it's Chin-lung Hu, maybe [James] McDonald or Kershaw."

TRANSLATION: Frank Mc Cheap would rather have these guys that he doesn't have to pay as much for another 5 or 6 years compared to some like Cabrera who will cost a fortune in two.

COLLETTI SPEAK: The Dodgers met with Jones' agent, Scott Boras, on Tuesday with both sides aware that the Dodgers are willing to offer a short-term contract to the 30-year-old center fielder, who is coming off his worst season (.222 average, 26 homers, 94 RBIs).

TRANSLATION: Frank Mc Cheap can't afford to pay someone for too long cause there is a good chance he will default on the loan he already has paying off the team still. Which is why his wife is in charge, better than actually having to pay someone who knows what the hell they're doing. The average may suck but he still had more homers than any Dodger & the flexibility of adding another OF would allow them to move someone like Kemp for someone like Bedard.

COLLETTI SPEAK: The Dodgers, however, would prefer to land Japanese right-hander Hiroki Kuroda, whose signing would come without dealing away any young players. Patience is required, however, as Kuroda has not given pursuing clubs a timetable on a decision and is considering a trip to the United States next week to visit the cities vying for him. Colletti said it was not decided whether Kuroda would visit Los Angeles.

TRANSLATION: Hey, we're the Dodgers we don't spend money. In fact, if Kuroda wants to come to L.A. he better pay for the ticket himself cause Mc Cheap can not afford to pay for him to fly here. Last season Mc Cheap wanted the Dodgers to forfeit all their road games on the East Coast to save money on airfare.

COLLETTI SPEAK: Colletti, on his stated desire to acquire a big bat, suggesting it might turn out to be Kemp or Loney: "How do you know we don't have that right there?"

TRANSLATION: How do you know that I'll have a job next winter. If I have to deal with an owner who's wallet hasn't been opened since the Carter administration then who's to say he'll not give the GM job to his Dog or the maid or maybe even his son Drew (I will root for the God Damn Giants if Drew gets anywhere near running anything, but the program stand outside of Dodger stadium).

COLLETTI SPEAK: And Colletti, referring to the clubhouse tension that boiled over in September, said: "I've got a real good idea what went on, I know why it occurred and it's been addressed in a lot of different ways."

TRANSLATION: Jeff Kent's Mustache was to blame. I asked him to shave, but he gave a convincing argument for keeping it on. We're on the hook for 9 million, 4.5 to that 'stache if he let's it go then we're paying 4.5 mil to a 'stache that is no longer on the team. We already have Juan Pierre and his 14 year old mustache to pay for the next three years.

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